Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Story: The River Nymphs

Once, the goddess of the Ganges river, Ganga, had four children who were the water nymphs that swam the river. These four were the ones that kept watch over the river for their mother, cleaning it, blessing it and maintaining peace throughout the entire length. All four of them were very beautiful, so much so that whenever a human man would lay his eyes upon one, he instantly fell in love with the mermaid. They prided themselves on their impeccable beauty and spent long hours brushing out their hair or finding the prettiest stones to add as jewelry.  

One day, as the sisters were doing their daily patrol of the river, they came across a hut they had never seen before. They were captivated by the sight because he had so few possessions. The owner of the home lived in a simple, tiny hut made of palm tree leaves, bark, and mud. Looking into the window, they could see that he owned just a cot on the ground and a fire opposite to cook or heat the hut when needed. Except for a few cracks in the mud caused by the Indian heat, the walls of the humble dwelling bore nothing.



As they swam closer to the shore, they saw that a man inhabited the hut they had just come across. He seemed to be meditating as he sat, legs crossed and arms outstretched, under a tree near the river. His appearance matched his humble home. He wore no shirt but just simple white cloth pants that had holes exposing the man’s knees. His hair was long and tangled and if he hadn’t brushed or bathed in a while. As the sisters continued to stare, the humble man met their gaze. He saw the water nymphs, smiled, and nodded as to say hello. Then, he simply turned his gaze downward, closed his eyes, and continued his meditation.


The sisters were shocked and insulted that the man did not immediately run to them as most men do. They stepped out of the water and their tails transformed into human legs. They walked closer so the man could see how beautiful they were. Surely, he did not immediately advance towards them because he did not see their beauty. The sisters stood close to the holy man and circled around him.

“Hello, dear sir,” the eldest sister said in her sweet, melodious voice as she went to sit next to him.

“Greetings, sea creature,” he replied. The water nymph was insulted that the man did not even open his eyes to look at her. “I know your intentions, madams, and I will not succumb to your advances. For you see, I am a holy man and I cannot commit myself to a woman, let alone four!”

The sisters were insulted at what the man said. They prided themselves on their beauty and were not about to let this hermit slip through their fingers. All four of them, thinking the same thing, followed their sister’s actions and sat where they stood. They tried all they could to gain his attention. They offered themselves, saying that their children would be more beautiful and more powerful than just a human child. One promised him great riches if only he would come back to the river with them. Another sister sat and sang in her beautiful voice to enchant him. Through all the temptations, the holy man remained seated with his eyes shut and repeatedly refused the magical beings.




Finally, one of the sisters reached out and touched the man’s shoulder. At this, the calm self-control he had possessed left him and anger filled its place. He quickly stood up and said, “I know what you four do. You scan the riverbanks looking for human men to seduce so you can ultimately bring them to their deaths in the river. However, I will not be a victim. I have repeatedly told you to leave, but because of your stubbornness, I will now have to curse you!”

At these words, the four sisters started to transform. They looked down to see their limbs became shorter and their soft smooth skin was pushed aside with harsh scales. Their snouts grew long and their delicate hands were turned into claws. They looked at each other and saw that they had been turned into alligators! Filled with rage, they turned to find the man that did this to them but he was nowhere to be seen. They returned to the river to continue their lives as horrid beasts of the river.



Author’s Note: This story took place during Arjuna’s time in exile from the kingdom. In one of his adventures, as Arjuna was traveling beside the Ganges river, he meets a holy man who warned him not to go too close to the river because the river is cursed. The holy man explained how there are man-eating alligators that reside in the waters waiting to attack anyone that got too close. Arjuna, full of pride, didn’t listen to the warning and went to the river. There, an alligator slowly crept up and tried to devour him. He grabbed the animal by the tail and threw it out of the water. Here, the alligator transformed into a beautiful woman. She explained how her sisters and she were turned into animals because they tried to seduce a holy man.


This was such a small portion of the Mahabharata story, but I found it so interesting. In the story, I felt like the nymphs were being victimized, but I wondered if they actually goaded the old man on. I wanted to hear more about these magical creatures so I decided to expand their story and tell it in detail. Although the four sisters are the main characters, they’re not the good guys.

9 comments:

  1. I really enjoyed this story. It's interesting that you chose this just because it is a smaller part (like you mention). However, I think it was needed because it's important as there was so much potential behind the original. I thought it was smart of you to include the disrespect felt by the nymphs in relation to Arjuna not treating them like most men do. Overall, I feel like you did an excellent job on this story.

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  2. I really enjoyed reading your story! I found it interesting that you chose a smaller part of the story and expanded on it. This shows that there is a lot of options behind small parts in all of the stories and your options are endless. Overall, I think you did a great job on this story and I look forward to reading more of your stories.

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  3. Hi Shifa! I really enjoyed reading this story because I was always curious about the untold parts of Arjuna’s adventures. I love that you expanded on this particular part of the story and I really like how you told it. It has great flow and there aren’t any continuity errors or anything. I honestly cannot really see anything wrong with this story at this point. There are not even any grammar errors that were standing out to me. However, I have to get to the word limit and give some negative feedback, so here is my input. When you are describing the nymphs being turned into crocodiles, you could go on a little more. Maybe describe how their sight changed or the feel of the ground on their scaly stomachs. I really like how you told it, but this might bring the other senses into play and further the description.

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  4. I'm so glad to see that you've written a story about the water nymphs. Their story in the Mahabharata intrigued me so much too! Overall, your story is well written. I especially like the descriptions of the scenery and the nymphs transformations at the end (did you purposely make that paragraph a larger font?). Yet, you might want to reread the second, third, and fourth paragraphs because your grammar gets a bit confusing. In the second paragraph it can be difficult to tell when you finish describing the hut alongside the river and begin describing the man living there. Then, in the third paragraph the sisters see the man for the first time. It might be more clear if you just wait to describe the hermit until after the nymphs see him. Otherwise, you wrote quite an excellent story with very detailed imagery and multiple beautiful paintings to go along with it.

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  5. I really like that you choose to write about the water nymphs. I was curious about them too! I assumed that they would be discussed much more than they were in the story. I was hoping for a more in depth history on them. I also thought that your descriptions were amazing! It made me feel as though I was there! I could also picture the nymphs perfectly with the descriptions. Especially when they turn into crocodiles! I felt that the flow was great and there wasn't a problem in structure either. I feel that you are a good writer and will have many stores to tell in the future as well. Good luck to you for the rest of the semester!

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  6. I really like that you expounded on this story! Like you said, it is such a small part of the Mahabharata, yet you've managed to make something of your own from it. I think that's what is the most magical about the epic; it's so expansive that you can find so many smaller stories within stories.

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  7. This was seriously one of my favourite stories so far! You are a very talented writer and I absolutely loved all the imagery packed into this story. I always like when I see someone has expanded on a small part of one of the epics. A lot of the time those end up making the most interesting stories. I like doing that because you can use more of your imagination to really make the story come alive. It's harder to rewrite a larger story because you already have an idea of how it's supposed to end. This way, its pretty much all up to you to create the details of the story. I only saw one typo in your story:

    "His hair was long and tangled and if he hadn’t brushed or bathed in a while."

    Instead of "and" it should read, "as if he hadn't brushed or bathed in a while."

    You did such a wonderful job with this story and I look forward to reading more of your work!

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  8. Just like your other stories, this one is so well written! It held my attention the entire time! You did a marvelous job of showing both emotions of the nymphs as well as they holy man so well. I was on the holy man's side the whole time so when he turned them into alligators I was happy! They should have left when he told them to!

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  9. What a cool retelling! Yet another story that I hadn't really heard of before, but I love it! I like that it gives more background to the nymphs and shows that they brought their fate on themselves. I can understand why they were offended, though, haha. Cool to hear that they finally get turned back in the end though! Hopefully they learned their lesson.

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