Feedback Thoughts: Don't be so Hard on Yourself

Receiving Feedback

Articles read: Why rejection hurts so much -- and what to do about it and 5 Tips For Taking Feedback Like a Champ

I really enjoyed both of these articles because I definitely identify as a perfectionist, and I expect nothing but the best from myself. The biggest thing I've learned is that being so unwelcoming to negative feedback can be detrimental. From Winch's article, I noticed that much of these detrimental factors arise not from the actual rejection, but the way we respond to that rejection. He points to the fact that when we are faced with rejection, our brains intensify it and construed it into something worse than it actually is. The main point I took away from this article was the zero tolerance for self-harming criticism. Because when something happens, rather than focusing on how awful you are, focus on what you can do differently for the future and move on.
The Forbes article focused more on receiving criticism from another person, but I know I am my worst critic and I applied these points to how I critique myself. One of the points that I took away from the Forbes article was that when you're receiving a negative feedback, look at those growth areas as a good thing. Next time a critique comes my way, I'm going to focus on the fact that I have not maxed out my potential. It helps me look to the future as a place where I am not stuck where I am now. I am able to succeed and move higher in a certain area of my life. Finally, the fact that just because I make one mistake, that does not mean all of me is flawed.

Self harm

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Giving Feedback

Articles read: The Difference Between Praise That Promotes Narcissism vs. Healthy Self-Esteem and Be a Mirror: Give Readers Feedback That Fosters a Growth Mindset

I have had to give feedback in classes but the feedback areas that stick out to me are when I'm in leadership positions. Out of the four qualities that were outlined in the article by Gravity Goldberg, the two that stuck out to me were the second and third points. They both focus on the process the other person went through. They both encourage future actions instead of remaining stagnant. These two points allow the receiver to focus on how far they've come. This,in turn, allows them to look to the future and how much farther they could progress.

Out of all four articles, I think the narcissism vs. self-esteem was my favorite. I never realized that narcissim can occur with low self-esteem. I think the way we praise another person can either input into their narcissistic mindset or their self-esteem worth. It's incredible to see how much power your words hold. It makes me reevaluate how I give feedback, and that when I am, I cannot be so careless about it. Especially when I am working with people that have low self-esteem, it's important to not boost the narcissism but rather their worth as a person and who they are.

Be a mirror